Building a Successful Marriage - Part 1- Setting the Ground Rules

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. - Psalm 127:1 –

Welcome to the first installment of our marriage success series. Over the next few weeks I will be sharing with you a number of building blocks necessary for a successful marriage. These lessons build on each other to help lay out a plan and direction to begin to give you success as you develop a clearer understanding of one of God’s greatest blessings to the human race, the marriage of a man and a woman.

The first part of our opening verse gives us the true secret to a happy, prosperous and successful marriage. God is the One who designed, ordained and established the marriage relationship. Let us briefly examine the Lord’s blueprints for marriage.

A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD

“For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. - 1 Corinthians 3:11 –

When we were born into this world the odds were stacked against us. Satan had done his best to make the world a hostile environment for us to enter into. Because of his work in the Garden of Eden we all became sinners and fell out of fellowship with the God who had created us. God leveled the playing field once more through His Son who gave himself to restore our fellowship with God by reconciling us to God at the cross.

By his sacrifice for us Jesus himself became the basis for our access to God’s wisdom, understanding and blessing. He became the foundation of our new relationship with the Father. Not only that, but his word became the foundation of our relationship with each other. If we hope to build a strong and lasting marriage relationship it must be built on the unmovable foundation of Christ, and, according to the blueprint found in his Word.

ON THE SAME PAGE

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” - Amos 3:3 -

Now with a fresh start we must find someone to build this house with us. It should be someone who desires what we desire, someone who sees things the way that we do. This person must also be building on the foundation of faith in Christ.

The Apostle Paul told those in the church at Corinth that they should not be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers”. Now for those who are not familiar with the farm, a harness is a collar that goes around the neck of work horse or an ox to allow it to pull a load or a plow. A yoke is similar except it is a collar for two.

It is well known that when two work together they can accomplish much more that one working alone. Now the only way this works well is if both of the animals are matched to each other. For instance, you would never put a little burro in the same yoke as a massive draft horse. Before long the larger animal would be frustrated by carrying the added weight of the burrow. And, the burrow would resent being drug along the ground without a say-so about what was happening or where they were going.

This is exactly what happens when a believer is yoked together in marriage with an unsuitable spouse. There is a mismatch. The unbeliever sees things from a worldly point of view, and looks to the world for happiness and acceptance; while the believer desires to please God from whom all of their blessings flow.

One serves God and is blessed while the other does not see the point and is frustrated. These two people are just as unequally yoked as the burrow and the draft horse only they don’t have the good sense to know it until it is too late.

FIND A QUALIFIED CO-WORKER

If you are going to ask somebody to build a home with you make sure that they can read the blueprints and are willing to follow the heavenly building code or your home will not stand up to the storms of life. Decide now to make God the architect of your home. Remember that Jesus is the “Chief Cornerstone”. All of your efforts must be based on Him or your house will be crooked. Also, agree that you will follow the guidance of His foreman, the Holy Spirit, as He advises you in your daily work together. Then go out and build the beautiful home that God intended for you to have as you build a life together.

NEXT WEEK: THE HUSBAND-WIFE RELATIONSHIP

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God loves you and so do I;

J.R. Hodges